It's pretty much impossible to keep track of everything everyday, but I will try to update as often as possible.
Breakfast:
2 Cups of Cocoa Pebbles:
2 Cups of Fat Free Milk:
Workout:
Monday, May 18, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
5/15/09 Workout / Food
As a part of starting over. I will be working out every day. If I feel that I did an exceptionally stressful work out the day before, or if I simply don't have the energy, I will do a shortened routine. Idealy I would like to do a lower body work out in the morning and an upper body work out at night. I will post what results I have here...
Breakfast:
Bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats
Milk
Morning Workout
Exercise Bike
Rode: 7.53 miles, Burned: 276 calories, In: 31:46 minutes.
Lunch:
2 Slices Whole Wheat Bread (220cal, 0g. sat fat, 40carbs)
Fat-Free Cheese (25cal, 0g. sat fat, 0carbs)
Smoked Ham (70cal, 1g. sat fat, 2carbs)
(315cal, 1g. sat fat, 42carbs)
Snack:
Granola Bar (90cal, 0.5g. sat fat, 18carbs)
Breakfast:
Bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats
Milk
Morning Workout
Exercise Bike
Rode: 7.53 miles, Burned: 276 calories, In: 31:46 minutes.
Lunch:
2 Slices Whole Wheat Bread (220cal, 0g. sat fat, 40carbs)
Fat-Free Cheese (25cal, 0g. sat fat, 0carbs)
Smoked Ham (70cal, 1g. sat fat, 2carbs)
(315cal, 1g. sat fat, 42carbs)
Snack:
Granola Bar (90cal, 0.5g. sat fat, 18carbs)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
It All Begins Here
I often think about everything that can go into a single decision. All of the life experiences that lead up to the words "yes" or "no" coming out of the mouth of a particular person. In my case the "yes" is what got me in trouble today. Without going into more backstory than necessary: my ex boyfriend lives with my parents and I. He was going through hard times after we had broken up and, taking pity on him, I conviced my parents to take him in. I helped him sign up for classes at a local college and my mother helped him get a job at a local grocery store she too works at. For the last year he has played devistating mind games. I want to be with you you're too fat I love you you are the cause of all of my problems you mean everything to me I've met someone else. It was this last one, this meeting someone else that began the current spiral of problems in my world.
I have known this man, excuse me, boy for about five years now and I can tell when he's lying no matter how many times he's said the opposite. That sixth sense for sniffing out his lies set off an alarm when he started hanging out with a new "friend" whom he said was just that, a friend. Immediately I smelled trouble. Only weeks earlier he had told me, yet another time, that he wanted to try something new with me again. Suddenly, upon meeting this new friend, he forgets all about that new attempt at a relationship. They go to movies, to dinners, for long walks at night ending in deserted parks in cars. It's very clever of him to try to convince me that nothing is going on, right under my nose, by simply assuming I will believe him. Yet, he still wanted to do more to convince me.
That is when the dinner happened. He said to me "I want you to meet him, he's just a friend, you'll see." Stupidly, I agreed. We sat in near silence, them talking to each other, him talking to me, but me never talking to the friend. There was one short conversation we all took part in, but the air was too tense to joke around. It didn't work. And as I sat there watching them exchange glances, watching the subtle gestures, words, the silences shared only between those who are more than friends, I began to realize what I had just gotten myself into. I had allowed myself to be the third wheel between my ex and his new interest.
The shame and embarassment was overwhelming. For the rest of dinner I tried to look for a way out, hoping the waiter would just magically appear with the check so I could run out the front door and never stop running until I reached my house. After coming home, the two "friends" had disappeared for a long walk, I locked myself in my room and cried.
A mix of sadness, anger, and gullability ran through my veins, coarsing through my forhead and finally released as tears in my eyes. After I collected my thoughts I made a decision. A decision that the last five years of my life (that's how long I was on and off with this guy, can you believe it?) had built up to. I was going to better myself, I was going to start eating right and exercising daily, I was going to make friends, and go out as much as possible. I was going to experience life, my life for the very first time. Where all of my decisions and actions revolve around only myself and no one else. Where I spent the last five years going out of my way to make things work between me and this loser, I am going to spend the next five getting my life back on track and, hopefully, by the end of it I will be better off.
I have known this man, excuse me, boy for about five years now and I can tell when he's lying no matter how many times he's said the opposite. That sixth sense for sniffing out his lies set off an alarm when he started hanging out with a new "friend" whom he said was just that, a friend. Immediately I smelled trouble. Only weeks earlier he had told me, yet another time, that he wanted to try something new with me again. Suddenly, upon meeting this new friend, he forgets all about that new attempt at a relationship. They go to movies, to dinners, for long walks at night ending in deserted parks in cars. It's very clever of him to try to convince me that nothing is going on, right under my nose, by simply assuming I will believe him. Yet, he still wanted to do more to convince me.
That is when the dinner happened. He said to me "I want you to meet him, he's just a friend, you'll see." Stupidly, I agreed. We sat in near silence, them talking to each other, him talking to me, but me never talking to the friend. There was one short conversation we all took part in, but the air was too tense to joke around. It didn't work. And as I sat there watching them exchange glances, watching the subtle gestures, words, the silences shared only between those who are more than friends, I began to realize what I had just gotten myself into. I had allowed myself to be the third wheel between my ex and his new interest.
The shame and embarassment was overwhelming. For the rest of dinner I tried to look for a way out, hoping the waiter would just magically appear with the check so I could run out the front door and never stop running until I reached my house. After coming home, the two "friends" had disappeared for a long walk, I locked myself in my room and cried.
A mix of sadness, anger, and gullability ran through my veins, coarsing through my forhead and finally released as tears in my eyes. After I collected my thoughts I made a decision. A decision that the last five years of my life (that's how long I was on and off with this guy, can you believe it?) had built up to. I was going to better myself, I was going to start eating right and exercising daily, I was going to make friends, and go out as much as possible. I was going to experience life, my life for the very first time. Where all of my decisions and actions revolve around only myself and no one else. Where I spent the last five years going out of my way to make things work between me and this loser, I am going to spend the next five getting my life back on track and, hopefully, by the end of it I will be better off.
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